


Fan Club

by Swine



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Grimmons, M/M, RvB Fluff Week, Simmons just wants pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 11:57:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14111841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swine/pseuds/Swine
Summary: Grif and Simmons, though not surprised, figure out that both Donut and Tucker had made a Grimmons Fan club. Determined to get their food, the two of them pretend to date, both to simultaneously accomplish their goal, and maybe fuck with the two of the club presidents along the way.





	Fan Club

**Author's Note:**

> Fluff Week: Donut and Tucker are co-Presidents of the Grimmons fanclub. Grif and Simmons find out, and decide to pretend to date to screw with them.

“Dude, what are you-“

“Shh.” Grif had quickly hushed Simmons as he pressed his ear to the door. Simmons’ original plan was to get a snack and then possibly crash afterwards- Grif was a terrible influence on him lately, but Grif seemed to be quietly poking in other people’s business. He wasn’t Grif’s babysitter, but goddamn it felt like it sometimes. He wanted to add a cynical remark, maybe chastise him for the bullshit thing Grif was doing this time, but he seemed almost riveted in the conversation happening behind the kitchen door. “C'mere.”

“No!” Simmons hissed, afraid what Grif might be listening to.

“Don’t be such a baby,” Grif whispered, tearing his head away from the door for just a moment. With injured pride, Simmons silently groaned and begrudgingly shuffled to the door and listened to the conversation.

“…club’s fourth meeting too!” Someone, Simmons is pretty sure it’s Donut, says blithely. Donut’s conversations, unfortunately, almost always ended up going somewhere that made everyone uncomfortable. Simmons didn’t really feel like anything he was talking about was worth listening to. Or that if it was something he wanted to listen to.

“Yeah- don’t forget I’m doing this ironically,” Tucker said quickly.

“Oh, well you seemed pretty bent on getting new members last meeting.”

“ _Ironic_.” Tucker and Donut, _a weird combination…_ Simmons thought, had never been seen together much; even in the many years they had known each other. “And I mean we’re the only members.”

“…That's true. Even still!” Confused, Simmons looked at Grif, expecting some sort of clarification on what sort of “club” the two of them had made. Grif only shook his head, urging Simmons to listen to just a bit more. “Ah it only seems like yesterday they were stationed at Blood Gulch, standing around and talking- remember Tucker?”

“Uh, hell no? That felt like fifty years ago.” Tucker dissented but chuckled afterwards. “I even called it back then too! Goddamn…years of oblivious romantic torment.”

“Don’t worry! Someone is bound to make the first move eventually!” Donut assured, his tone unfaltering. "That's why we're here!"

“Yeah sure. Neither of them would get anything started.” He scoffed as a reply.

“Who are they…?” Simmons mumbled.

“Just... wait for it,” Grif replied almost exasperatedly, an unamused look slowly giving way.

"After all, Grif and Simmons have known each other for years!" Simmons felt like maybe he should be surprised. He should be flustered or at the least just a little bit annoyed. But as his brow furrowed, he gave a small apathetic sigh.

"Goddammit." He said simply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He wishes he wasn't used to this sort of nonsense, but unfortunately, years of being around the same people will do that to you. Grif leaned away from the door, ignoring the debate between the two members.

"Yeah... usually I'd say this is my limit, but I think I reached that years ago," Grif grumbled. "I was gonna get food but..."

"Did they make you lose your appetite?" "Now let's not go that far." Grif sighed as he stared at the kitchen door longingly. "I need that food, but I'm not risking walking into the middle of that shitshow."

"Can't you just wait until later to eat?"

"For shame Simmons!" Grif sarcastically chided with a huff. Grif folded his arms as he casually leaned on the wall. "You know me better than to 'wait' for food!"

"You're right. My expectations of you were too high."

"Exactly." Grif stared at the door for a moment, something certainly brewing in his mind. Grif, Simmons had noticed, had a habit of scrunching up his nose whenever he was lost in thought. Like most of the small little details Simmons couldn't help but catch about Grif, he would find himself unsure of how he knew about it. He supposes that happens when you've been friends with someone for so long. "Okay wait I have an idea."

"I don't like your ideas..." Simmons said, shaking his head. "They're either really fucking stupid, or... No, they're just fucking stupid."

"Yeah, I figure you wouldn't like this one either."

"...Walk me through it," Simmons said. On any normal day, he would absolutely reject Grif's ideas without hesitation, but Simmons was in a strange mood for the past few days.

"We get in there, pretend to date-"

"Nope." His voice unintentionally broke apprehensively. Simmons' face had immediately flushed as he quickly turned down the ridiculous overview.

"Dude, it'll only take like five minutes." Grif pressed, remembering to lower his voice near the newly founded _(hopefully)_ club's meeting taking place behind the door. "I'll just get the food, their club won't be a thing anymore, and boom. Done."

"No, but...!" Simmons struggled for words for a second. He felt like he was searching for an excuse; desperate to find a way out of the embarrassing situation. He couldn't deny- it was most certainly a good idea, which was extremely rare. But... nope. "It... My reputation!" Yeah sure. He can go with that for now.

"What reputation?" That's fair. "Okay look- do me this quick solid. It won't even take long! I'll have my food, and you'll have... I dunno you'll still be a nerdy asshat I guess."

"If I help you, will you stop talking?"

"Absolutely," Grif confirmed as he glanced at the kitchen door once again. "Alright. You've obviously never dated before, so follow my lead."

...Simmons can't really argue with that.

Tucker cannot emphasize how utterly painful the past few years of romantic tension has been. No not for him- Grif and Simmons. Those two were annoying but goddamn did their whole romantic situation used to crack Tucker up.

He spent years dealing with constant bickering and oblivious flirting between those two, yet the two simply reviled at the idea of a romance. At first, it was hilarious, but as time went on, it felt like more of an irritating inconvenience.

So when Donut proposed a new idea- a club that essentially made fun of those two and discussed ideas on how they could get them together, Tucker was sure as hell going to join. They bounced ideas back and forth at each other, though he occasionally got off task, reminiscing the great (terrible) times they've had over the years. And there they sat; Tucker lounging on the dining room chair, the club's main meeting dwindling into conversations about nothing.

"The trick is to be _subtle_..." Donut said with a strange sort of pride. "Subtlety is key."

"Please don't say anything is the key. I've had enough goddamn keys." And then Grif and Simmons entered.

It's normal, Tucker thought, for those two to be seen together. They had barely ever been seen without each other, hence one of the reasons why he helped start the goddamn club in the first place. But lo and behold, they had walked into the room, Grif's arm draped around Simmons' neck. Weirdly casual- but Tucker learned not to get his hopes yet. And yet:

"Listen, babe, I'm just tryin' to say: teleporting by blinking is a great superpower." Tucker could easily make fun of their conversation topic; normally he would insert into their discussion with a "what the fuck are you talking about", but he couldn't gloss over the simple pet name. 

"Uh-I...Uh." Simmons stuttered. His ears were tinted with a deep red as he stumbled over his words. Tucker didn't notice Grif's small jab at Simmons' stomach which snapped him back into attention. "T...That's bullshit, honey," Simmons' face nearly twisted in a strange sort of nervousness. "You're only saying that cause you're too lazy to move."

"Duh. Have you met me?" Grif's said, shrugging as gave a sly smile. "I mean we _have_ been dating for like- what a week now?" Holy shit- Holy _shit!_ Tucker peered to his left to see Donut smiling from ear to ear, clasping his hands together near his mouth just to contain his excitement. He swears to God, Tucker could practically see the stars in his eyes, and he honestly couldn't blame him. Years- _years_ of romantic bullshit; all of that finally relieved! Grif finally left Simmons' side as he marched towards the fridge. "What'd you want anyway? Judging by your whole...  _situation,_ you probably want water and bread, right?"

"Oh _ha ha_ ," Simmons said, cynicism dripping in his voice. "Just get leftovers."

" _Okay_." Started Donut, admittedly startling all three of them. "Is this a fever dream? Tucker pinch me!"

"Nah, I'm good."

"What's your deal?" Grif asked, grabbing the pizza box from the fridge. ("It's better cold." Simmons says as he points at the box, trying his best to avoid eye contact with Donut. "Jesus Christ, really?" Grif responds with a fake sort of disgust.)

"Uh- you know what the goddamn deal is!" Tucker said, a smirk threatening to play his lips. "A week without telling us? Nice try!"

"You know now, don't you?" Simmons asked. Even though he seemed fairly embarrassed at first, he chuckled a bit- though coughing a bit right afterwards awkwardly.

"Thankfully!!" Donut rended the air as he gushed to himself gleefully. Grif rolled his eyes as he handed Simmons the plate of cold food. "Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you two! Y'know, I have some great relationship tips if you wanna-"

"Nope, we're good." Grif interrupted, clearly uncomfortable as he desperately shoved Simmons out the door. 

"Yep, bye." Simmons got the hint and rushed out the door. Good one Donut. After a few moments, Tucker could hear faint but wholehearted laughter- Grif's snorts sounding loudly behind the door. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this sense of relief, but he's absolutely sure he could get used to this.


End file.
